Now don’t get me wrong they really don’t get much wear out of their clothes but I’ve never been the type to get emotional when folding endless vests up for storage. I’ve always been excited to get the next size clothes in her draws. I know for some this past time definitely pulls on the heart strings but for me bringing the Christmas decorations down that we’ve used for the past 5 years has left me feeling nostalgic, it definitely caught me by surprise.
This time of year is definitely my favourite, not because of Christmas Day which I personally think is overrated but because of the cold dark nights, the scrummy hot chocolates and the twinkling lights on the tree. I’m normally eager to get our tree up and decorated however this year has brought on feelings of reluctance. Reluctance to dust off and open our shop bought, factory churned uniform baubles feels like I’m opening a pandora of last years memories that I don’t want to lose.
Reflecting back on this time last year having a two week old baby I was like a rabbit in the headlights, watching my baby’s every breath as she slept, jumping at her every murmur, unsure whether I could fulfil her needs. Now I can just remember her new smell, her warm cuddles and her stillness. I long to hold my tiny baby against my chest.
Within our boxes of neatly packed tree decorations amongst the Disney collection acquired in our first year of marriage lies an array of pink ‘baby’s first Christmas ‘ tree hangings. I realise only now I was so overwhelmed with becoming a new mummy I didn’t really savour the special moment of her first Christmas. I understand that she didn’t have any idea about the concept of Christmas last year and probably still doesn’t this year but this one definitely feels different, I can feel the magic, I’m excited for our first visit to Santa and to show her the sparkly lights all around. Lots of opportunities for new firsts.
We are going to open our box of Christmassy delights year after year remembering the previous year with a full, festive heart and although her first Christmas will inevitably will become a distant memory and the fresh feelings will fade, her pink baubles will always remain, hanging proud on our tree, creating a special memory of their own and surrounded by new ones.
Note: the re-read made me cry!!!
H
